You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
