There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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