before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
