Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
