I'm really into asian looking animals
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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