he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
