I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
