and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize