at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize