Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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