I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
