i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
