the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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