i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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