I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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