three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize