I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize