can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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