tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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