I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
