Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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