i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
