i jhust puked up my retainher.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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