I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
