did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
