Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
