dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize