You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we're making bets on your personal life
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
