I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Pooping to opera.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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