We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
