So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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