I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My breasts were aching with rage.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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