He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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