It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
