If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
