she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
