I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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