I wish I could teleport
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Found the puke drawer
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
