I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
