you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
