i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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