did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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