I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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