Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
