I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Come see our sink grown plant.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
