And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
