we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
