i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
