Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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