hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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