The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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