clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize