They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
