where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
