Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
