i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
