So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
