hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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