I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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