Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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